Feel better.
I was feeling all depressed earlier because I was realizing how alone I felt.
Ok, it all started with me moving up to Redding. I did it to get a better job while in college. I knew that if I stayed in my hometown, I couldn’t make enough to save money for a place of my own, or enough to get my license back (~800$). So, I moved in with my dad. I wanted to be able to support my girl when she came back to this area in June, and I could only do so with money. Well, when I did this, I left ALL my friends behind in Red Bluff. I know nobody but my dad and cousin here in Redding. I’m not friends with my cousin really, we just don’t dislike each other, she’s very “preppy and jesus-y.”
After feeling like that, my friend Kevin calls me up from Red Bluff and is like, ”Heeey Gary (that’s how he talks), I got a party I’m going to later, you should totally come. I’ve got booze and a gay midget.”
First of all, he does have a gay midget. I’ve haven’t met him yet, but I’ve seen pics. Yea, he’s flaming, it’s so awesome.Ok, I have no gas money at all, because I need 55$ for my phone bill next month, plus gas money to school and work (eventually) and back. I have 95$~ in my account. Redding is a 30 minute drive from Red Bluff. I drive a truck. You do the math.
I get all depressed again, but during the conversation with him (lasting about 10 minutes), my friend Tanya texts me asking what’s up and such. After the call with Kevin, I call my girlfriend back and talk to her for like ~3 hours. After that, I remember the text and reply. About 20-30 minutes later, Tanya calls (by the way, Tanya is my girlfriend Elie’s sister and one of my best friends). She tells me about some stuff that happened and we talk about it. Then after that, we talk for like an hour and a half. It was awesome talking to a friend on the phone for longer than 10 minutes again.
I haven’t been able to do that in years. Usually, we’d just talk about where we’d meet, then go there and hang. But we got to talk for a while about just different shit. It was cool. When Elie and I get married, I’ll be really happy to have such a cool friend as a sister-in-law. Plus, I think her boyfriend is a really cool guy too. Quiet like me, but can be really fun, most definitely one of the nicest people I have ever met too.
And that is my night. Now I’m going to play a bit of WoW or Oblivion. Haven’t decided yet.
Sooo, what to do?
I’m torn. I have really, nothing much to do now. I’m done with school for the week, and don’t really have homework. I have some english thing, but it’s a 15 minute assignment I’ll do later. I kinda feel like just going to sleep, but I have work later today. Good thing is, I don’t have work this weekend, so I get to sit around and sleep in, and take naps, and write, and just be lazy and do what I want to do.
Feel good about that I guess, but not really. Boredom makes me sit and think, and thinking makes me depressed usually…
Maybe I’ll work on the access project I have due in a month. It’s kinda big, so might as well.
I could also start to layout some of the Harbinger Issue 2. I haven’t done a single thing to it for this issue yet. For the layout I mean. All I have to do really is just throw the stories in. Last month, I had to layout and make sure that the whole thing worked right, don’t have to do that this time thankfully.
Arghh-geh-geh-geh
So, was at work from 8-10 tonight. Was going to talk to my boss about the whole 2 week notice, buuuut, he was walking out the door as I walked up to the store. So damn.
Other than that, work was lame. Me trying to make friend with the people there is going lame-er-ly. It’s hard to make friends with people when they are all already friends. The 4 employees have all known and worked with each other for like at least a year each, and I’m just the newcomer who is trying to shove his way in. I’m friendly to them, they are friendly to me, yet, I’m excluded from their little circle.
When nothing is happening in the store, I’ll go stand over with them and such, but be kinda ignored you know? And sometimes they’ll do the friendly,
“SOOooooo, how’s it going?”
and I’ll say, “It’s going pretty good. Kinda tired, but pretty good. How about you?”
And I’ll get the, “Same.” Then they go back to their little thing.
It sucks. One girl, Fumei (fuu-may), is pretty nice and will talk to me and stuff when it’s just us two, but when others are there, it’s off to them. I mean, I’m not thinking they are jerks, the very opposite, they are very nice. It’s just hard to break into a circle of people. I’m only going to be there for a few more weeks, but still, it gets lonely there, you know?
High hopes
I got one of the books I ordered in the mail just now, The Dark Side of Faith. I have high hopes for this book. I think I’m going to start reading it tonight, maybe tomorrow.
