Work is for the weak! …Mainly when you’re scooping ice cream for kids.
Giving my two week notice today for work…Wow, I suck at that kind of thing. My old job, they just got me so mad at everything, that I just walked in and dropped my uniform in a chair and said, “Yeah, I’m here to quit,” with a big smile.
For Baskin Robbins though, I don’t have a real beef with the place. My boss Frank is an ok guy. He’s over-bearing, a hypocrite, and cynical, but he isn’t that bad (his wife on the other hand…). I can’t just walk in and give a big ole’ “Fuck you” smile and quit, I want to do it nicely, ya know? I don’t even know what to say, or do. How’s this?
“Uh. Uhm. Hi Frank.”
“HI GARY! YOU GO CHANGE AND GET READY FOR WORK.”
“Uhm, actually I need to give my two week notice.”
“WHY YOU QUIT?”
“Uhm. I’m going to be moving in about two weeks.”
“*SIGH* OK GARY. YOU GO WORK”
How’s that look? I think that’s how I’ll do it. Fuck, nervous. I suck at confrontation.
….Serious blog.
Ok, it was nice at first, but now having each girl I talk to say they like me is a bit much. I saw an old friend and added her, and she basically give me the old.
“But how could you thinki would have forgotten you seriously i mean, if i liked you back then why wouldnt i remeber, you know lol”
This is like the 6th one this week alone. Sure, it feels good knowing I’m not a circus freak, but still, I’m not the type of guy to just jump from girl to girl. I like a relationship. And the thing is, I like some of these girls back, but not all. Like the one I quoted, she’s nice and all, but I don’t like her like that. List, I think a list is good.
AC: Friends for a long time, and my two best friends both like her, and one of them is her boyfriend.
BK: Likes me, but got asked out by another guy first.
M: Just met her, but she’s flirting with me quite a bit over myspace. Like a lot. My friend’s ex.
LH: Old crush, yeah, she wants to go out too.
*New* AL: Was friends with her cousin and brother like 5 years ago, sent her a friend invite, now she sends me different invites…
Seven (just counted lol) other random girls: Seven other random girls have sent me messages on myspace (girls from Red Bluff) saying they used to think I was cute and heard I’m single now.
And last but not least….
Elie.
I’ve liked Elie a lot for about 2 years now, maybe 2.5. You know those crushes you have that would be just a dream come true if they liked you back, but you knew it’d never happen? Well, it’s happening to me 
We talked on the phone for close to three hours last night about almost nothing. Usually, when I talk on the phone with a girl for the first time, I hardly talk at all. I just sit there, and say, “Mmhmmm,” a lot. But, when I talked to Elie, it all came so naturally. The entire time, I was sitting there with this smile on my face. My cheeks actually hurt a little after since I was smiling the entire time! She’s sweet, nice, funny, cute, likes the same music as me, very liberal, and so much more. She is just so cute though. This is the girl I fantasized about going out with when I was with Deedra, and that’s saying something since only one other girl got in my mind like that.
But, of course there is a problem with this. Of course there is. She lives down here near Fremont now…..I find this out weeks before I move. If I had found this out about 2 months ago, I would have stayed living here! I like her that much! Argh! She has her dad in RB still who she visits for a weekend every month, but I couldn’t wait for just that! Get out of one long distance relationship just to get in another? I couldn’t. The thing is, this summer, she’ll be up in Red Bluff for like 2-3 months with her Dad. And during this time, I have plans of spending as much time as I can with her.
The talk we had was so great last night though. When she was like,
“Don’t laugh at me, but…..I really like you.”
That was the most awesome thing for me. I mean, I knew she did from the fact that she has been flirting with me constantly for about a week now, but hearing her say the words was awesome. Jeez, I feel like a little kid again. Almost want to giggle. Jebus, this is a great feeling!
But there are some things that get in the way of it though. I don’t see how any of it would work with the distance. This kills me so much to think of that. I mean, sure, there are other girls who are in Red Bluff I can go out with, girls that I like. But this is Elie!
I don’t know. I hate this. I don’t want to settle for someone else, but I also don’t want to have a difficult relationship. I don’t know. This is going to be something on my mind constantly the next few weeks. Argh, just wish Elie would move back to Red Bluff.
More dangst in a bean cup
I’m leaving Red Bluff to go back to Fremont in the afternoon. It feels bad. I don’t want to go back. I loved this visit. I got to see friends, and I got to see my sister drunk off her ass (actually, she was drunk and on her ass in the dirt most the time). I got to be with my brother, who really is one of my best friends. I went to my first “cowboy” party (you know, bonfires, guns, cowboy hats, country music, and a lot of whiskey) out in the boondocks. Played guitar hero from 3:30am to around 6am with friends on saturday.
I just don’t want to go back to sitting in my room like a hermit. I had forgotten how fun it is to go out and do things. *sigh* I guess I can’t help it, I can wait another 3 weeks until I move back permanent, but I just don’t want to. Hate it.
What am I going to do….
Why does bad shit always have to happen. Things might not be going the best, but they are going well enough to get you through life. But then something always has to happen to really ruin it. Not just happy days of joy, but just your plans of life in general.
I had planned to move back to Red Bluff and live with my mom for a few months before I get a job to get an apartment. I have about 1100 in the bank sitting there for the soul reason of getting an apartment. I won’t use it for anything else. Well guess what? Shit happened.
My mom is on disability for severe depression, has been my whole life. We have always just barely gotten by. When we moved to Red Bluff when I was about 8-9, we moved into my great grandparents house to take care of it (great grandfather just died, and my great grandmother was in a nursing home after a sever stroke). There was no rent since they had built it back in the 10’s to 20’s. We had our own well, so no water bill. Only real bill was the phone and electric, and those are small. Well, after a few years, my grandmother finally passed on. A while after this, we find out my uncle (one in charge of their finances) put off putting the house in my mother’s mother’s name. So that never happened. Because of this, the government said he had to sell the house and give them the money. He said we had about 5 years to sell it and get out. Well, about 2 years later, we have an eviction notice taped to the door, that if we don’t get out in 3 days, a sheriff will make us.
My mom had no clue what to do, my uncle said we could stay in it for 5 more years before they could sell it, but he lied. He also would not reply to our calls or any of my whole families’ calls. My mom was just asking if he could wait until the end of the month when she got her check, but he wouldn’t even let us contact him. We had to pack our things and get out. My entire family gave us money to get a place then. My mom got an apartment for us. I moved a month later to Fremont. While here, my mother moved again to a cheaper place. In fact, the cheapest place she was able to find.
Well, since then, my dad cut off my part of the child support. After paying the bills, and buying the cheapest food she could, my mom usually has about 20-40 dollars left. Before my dad cut it off, she was getting 400$ a month, now she’ll get 100$ a month. I don’t see how my mom will be able to do it. Getting 400 a month, she had 20-40$ left, now she’s getting 100 a month from him. I just don’t know.
I was planning on moving in with her when I got back, but I could never do that now. I can’t put that on her shoulders too. I could easily move in with my father in Redding (about 45 minutes north of Red Bluff), but after him doing this, I don’t want to be that close to him.
So, this leaves me with a new option.
I get to sleep around at people’s houses and in my truck, and maybe crash at my mom’s house every once in a while. Once I get a job, I’ll be better off, but not much. I have the money now to put a deposit down for a crappy apartment, but I don’t have the income to pay rent after that. So I’ll be sleeping where I can while trying to get a job. Once I do that, I’ll get a place.
I would really like to get a roommate to help with the rent, if I did, I could get a place right away I think. I don’t know, this will take some careful shit to get right.
Can you tell just how much I hate living here in Fremont? I’m willing to be homeless just to move away.
Arghh-geh-geh-geh
So, was at work from 8-10 tonight. Was going to talk to my boss about the whole 2 week notice, buuuut, he was walking out the door as I walked up to the store. So damn.
Other than that, work was lame. Me trying to make friend with the people there is going lame-er-ly. It’s hard to make friends with people when they are all already friends. The 4 employees have all known and worked with each other for like at least a year each, and I’m just the newcomer who is trying to shove his way in. I’m friendly to them, they are friendly to me, yet, I’m excluded from their little circle.
When nothing is happening in the store, I’ll go stand over with them and such, but be kinda ignored you know? And sometimes they’ll do the friendly,
“SOOooooo, how’s it going?”
and I’ll say, “It’s going pretty good. Kinda tired, but pretty good. How about you?”
And I’ll get the, “Same.” Then they go back to their little thing.
It sucks. One girl, Fumei (fuu-may), is pretty nice and will talk to me and stuff when it’s just us two, but when others are there, it’s off to them. I mean, I’m not thinking they are jerks, the very opposite, they are very nice. It’s just hard to break into a circle of people. I’m only going to be there for a few more weeks, but still, it gets lonely there, you know?
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
My roommate can be a douchebag. He’s racist, egocentric, elitist, overly religious (sometimes), sexist, bigot, and homophobic.
Thing is though, he’s probably one of the better roommates here I could have really. He’s clean, he’s respectful of my space and things, it’s fun to talk to him when he’s not acting like the Derek I hate. Like, we have millions of inside jokes. Around 80% of what we talk about are inside jokes.
“Bean cup”
“Likin’ it like Lycanthrope.”
“Toooo late”
“Potatooo”
“Prom Night Dumpster Baby”
“Bilson Beating”
“En da da da da”
All classics. I just wish he wasn’t such a dick the other part of the time. I’d actually be able to be a really good friend with him. But, people have personality flaws. I have them. Most of the time, I’m a totally nice guy, but I can be a total dick too. I’m a hypocrite at times, I tend to see my views as better than others just because I can argue them better, and I can be overly sensitive.
So I’m not just bashing on Derek, because really, he’s a great guy and an all around decent roommate. In all actuality, he’s one of the best roommates at this dorm I bet. It’s just, you don’t really know what kind of flaws a person has until you live with them. But, you also see the good parts of people. Just when you see someone when they are in their own environment, you see the good and the bad. I personally deal with the bad in my roommate by writing about it. If he’s being a dick, I tend to do the, “Mmhmm” and sit at my desk. I’m not going to get in his face about it, what good would that do? I’m just trying to learn to deal with personality flaws in people while figuring out my own.
